The Busy Life of a Baseball Mom

It's been almost two weeks since my last blog post.  I've had intentions of writing every evening, and somehow I just never found the time.  (My list of "writing topics" grows everyday - just wish I had more time to actually write!)  My husband has taken a new football coaching job in a town about 30 miles from our home, and it's "spring training" so I have no help in the evenings with the boys' baseball schedule.  Not that this is unfamiliar territory: I've been carrying two little boys to their practices and games since the oldest was 4 years old.  My husband's work schedule usually prevents him from helping much on week nights, especially now that he's commuting.  So between baseball and football, life is pretty busy for our family right now.  AND it's the end of the school year.  There are standardized state tests, field days, awards programs, not to mention Big B's tryouts for middle school sports.  I have to brag for a moment on Big B.  He set a goal two years ago (yes, in 4th grade) that he would make all three teams - football, basketball, and baseball - when he got to middle school.  Yesterday, he finished meeting that goal.  He will be one of only two 7th graders (about 400 kids) to play on all three teams next year!  I love that at such a young age he learned to set a goal and work hard to achieve it.  His dad is such a hard-working, goal-oriented person; I'm glad he sets such a strong example for our boys. (And it doesn't hurt that they inherited his athleticism!) 

Our love for sports  ("Sports Mania") is what makes us a Busy Family and gives me the offical title of Busy Mom!  While I normally seem to manage our lives very well, there are times (like right now), that I absolutely stink at being a busy mom.  The laundry is piled up once again ("The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly"),  the bathrooms need scrubbing, the floor needs mopping, and the yard needs mowing.  Add to the mix that I am trying to cook healthy meals to manage my husband's diabetes ("She brings him good, not harm...") and to get myself back in shape ("My Battle").  A daunting task!  We are also trying to be frugal in our grocery and gas expenses, which requires lots of advanced preparation.  All of my good ideas (such as "Meal Shortcuts for Baseball Moms") aren't helping as much as I would like them to.  However, I can breathe easier knowing that there is an end in sight...summer!

Oh summer, how I love thee!  While there have been times in my career as a public school teacher that I have complained about low wages, long hours, difficult parents, and belligerent students, I do love my job.  One thing that makes all of the headaches okay is that every year, for two whole months, I get to be a stay-at-home mom!!  I love, love, love being home with my kids.  And I have to say that I am the perfect little homemaker during the summers.  My house is clean, projects are completed, scrapbooks are up-to-date, kids are happy, all is well.  I can pack my baseball bag and head to the ball park with no worries.  Can anyone truly understand the glory of summer without baseball?  I certainly can't!

Southern Country Cooking...not!

Mississippi girl, I am!  Country girl, I am not!  My husband, however, grew up as a country boy, and my amazing mother-in-law was the ultimate country cook.  My style of cooking is best described as "quick and easy."  Between my full-time teaching career and my busy little athletes' sports schedules, I have no choice but "quick and easy" if I want to feed my kids something other than McDonald's.  And I'm proud of my cooking.  I know lots of shortcuts and tricks to getting a "home-cooked" meal on the table in 30 minutes or less.  Let me add that we do not eat frozen meals or boxed dinners.  If that's your style, great!  But all three of my boys (Dad, Big B, and Little B) like "mama's cooking," not something out of a box.

Where am I going with this?  Well, last night, I got ambitious.  I decided I wanted a country meal.  All day, I craved fried pork chops, mashed potatoes and gravy, and butter beans.  So when the rain cancelled our baseball games, I got busy cooking my southern meal.  Now, I still used a few shortcuts...instant mashed potatoes, gravy mix in a little envelope, and yummy Margaret Holmes canned butter beans.  However, there are no shortcuts to fried pork chops..none at all!  I've only fried pork chops once, ever!  So I don't know what made me think I could do this, but I tried anyway. 

When I called the family to the dinner table, I was the first to take a bite of the pork chops.  I chewed and chewed and chewed.  They were over-cooked and really tough.  I immediately told my boys, "You do not have to eat this.  It won't hurt my feelings if you don't like them."  Of course, my feelings were already hurt because I had set out to try something new and failed.  My guys, however, insisted that the pork chops were just fine, and they ate them with no complaining.  I let out a sigh of relief.  Either they really did like the pork chops, or they were doing an excellent job trying not to damage my self-esteem!   I got hugs and kisses and words of thanks following the meal.  Apparently, my guys love me and appreciate me no matter what.  Even when I feel like a big failure, I know that it's ultimately the effort that I make to nurture and care for them that matters most. 

When my babies are grown, I doubt that they will remember the leather-like pork chops, but I hope they will remember that everything their Busy Mom did for them was done out of love!

Sports Mania

     Since I started this blog in October, my purpose has continued to evolve from meal ideas and menu planning to home organization ideas and tips to personal reflections on the life of a busy mom. While I have to believe that there are many other moms out there who are just like me, I'm sure there are others who don't relate at all (or at least some who think we are crazy for leading such a "busy life"). But we wouldn't have it any other way! We are a family of sports fanatics. My husband has coached high school football for 13 years and even spent a year as a graduate assistant coach at a Division I university.  My two boys (Big B and Little B) began their sports careers playing soccer at the age of four.  Since Big B was four years old, we have never taken a season off. When he was younger, he participated in soccer, swim team, baseball, and basketball. Later we added football to the mix.  In addition to football, basketball, and baseball, Little B has even tried karate and tennis!

       Because of my husband's coaching schedule, he has rarely been able to help with the boys' sports practices. This "busy mom" has been responsible for most of the kids' after-school activities for the last 8 years!! But, that's all about to change. We are entering a new phase of our sports' life!  Yesterday, Big B completed his physical to be eligible for middle school sports. In just a few weeks, he will participate in middle school spring training for football. And guess what? That makes him Daddy's responsibility, not mine! He will go to practice right after school, then walk on over to the high school field to meet his dad. No longer do I have to run him to practice, sit there for hours watching his every move, and get him home again. Daddy gets to take over! No longer will I have to juggle two different practices on two different fields, (sometimes) in two different towns. For the next four years, I can focus on Little B's sports. Of course, I'll still be Big B's #1 fan at games, but practices are no longer my job!

      The realization that we were beginning this new phase of life is somewhat bittersweet. I am thrilled for Big B, who is passionate about his sports and can't wait to play for the middle school. I can't wait for him to put on that middle school football uniform and try to earn his place as the 7th grade quarterback. I am looking forward to spending more time with Little B!  BUT...this new phase also means that my babies are growing up. How did it happen so fast? Seems like they were just going through the terrible two's! (That's a whole 'nother talk show! There's a reason that Little B had toddler nicknames like "The Tiny Tornado," "Mr. Destructo," and "The Holy Terror.")

     We are now one step closer to the teen years, high school graduation, college, and an empty nest! (Yes, I know I'm projecting far into the future, but it is moving so fast.) What will I do when they are all grown up? Our lives revolve around their sports. Of course, I'll still have my husband's high school games, so that will fill a little of the void, but what will I do the rest of the time? Will I know what to do with myself when there are no practices and games? I've said on many occasions that I'll have to pick up a few hobbies when they are gone. Maybe I'll pull the sewing machine out of the attic, learn to quilt, exercise more? Will I miss the hustle and bustle? Of course I will! As hectic as our lives sometimes are, I love my role as a sports mom. The excitement and anticipation before a big game, the cheers and the thrills when the score gets close, the joys of victory and the agony of defeat! Have I mentioned that I was captain of the cheerleaders and "Most School Spirited" in high school? Some people never change...I love it! That's why I know how much I'll miss it when their sports days are done. For now, I have to savor every minute of it! 

Organizing Kids' Closets

Ok, lately I've shared with you some of my past struggles and my recent messes (LAUNDRY!!!), but tonight I wanted to share with you one of my successes:  my kids' bedrooms, particularly their closets!  I've heard other moms talk about the never-ending piles of toys and the dreaded task of locating clothes and shoes amid the mess.  I know this can be a source of stress and tension in a busy family. However, I believe that an organized approach to a kid's room - especially the closet - can save you time and eliminate these headaches! 

Step 1: Clothes

As with any closet, clothes should be sorted into a system that makes sense for the child. For example, if the child wears school uniforms, all of the uniform pieces should hang together neatly in a designated place in the closet. All of my boys' uniforms are sorted into sections for khacki shorts, khacki pants, and polo shirts. 

Additionally, short sleeve shirts go together, as do blue jeans, button-downs, jackets and sweatshirts, etc. I established a system in my kids' closets years ago.  When the boys were as young as five or six, they helped put their clothes away in the proper locations. My 8-yr-old, who is learning to fold and hang up his own clothes without much help from me, knows exactly where everything should go because I modeled this system for him as he helped me when he was younger.  Why does this matter? I do NOTHING to help my 8 and 12 yr olds get ready for school in the morning. Because their closets and dressers are organized, they can find everything they need and get ready without my help. They have done this for years, not because they are naturally independent, but because they have been trained to be independent. And the organization certainly helps!

Step 2: Toys

As early in my children's lives as I can remember, I began using clear plastic tubs (Sterilite or Rubbermaid from Walmart) to sort their toys. As a 2-3 year old, my oldest son could put his toys away with only a little prompting from me. Why? Because everything had a place where it belonged. There was a box for blocks, a box for Little People, a box for Rescue Heroes, and the list goes on and on. Of course, he couldn't read to put them away based upon a word label. So, I found clip art, coloring books pages, or photos representing the contents of each box and decoupaged the pictures onto the boxes.  The super heroes box had a pictures of Spiderman, the Power Rangers box had a pictures of the Red Ranger, and so on.   As they were learning to read, I added word labels to the boxes. Now, most of the pictures are gone and the words remain. 

When they were young, I tried to encourage them to take out only a few boxes at a time. (I tried to stick to the one box at a time rule at first, but I decided that it would inhibit creativity if the "Cowboys and Indians" couldn't play in the Lincoln Log houses, and the Lego guys couldn't ride in a fire truck.) For the most part, they knew that they had to clean up the first mess before making a new one. Now that they are older, it doesn't take much prompting from me to have a clean room in no time. If my 8-yr.-old lets his room get out of control, I do have to give him "steps"; for example, I tell him to pick up the Legos, and I check back in a few minutes. Then I tell him to pick up the Hot Wheels cars, and I check back in a few minutes. I continue with this process until everything is put away.

  

This system of organization is now so ingrained in my kids that they can make sure that friends help them clean up when we have company. Last month we had a Super Bowl party, and several of our friends brought their pre-schoolers with them. When it was time to clean up, the moms and kids helped and we were able to straighten everything up in a matter of minutes, again, because everything has a place to call home! All of the toy boxes fit neatly in the closet and can be "out of sight" when necessary. Now, at ages 8 & 12, the boys have very little trouble keeping a clean room.   Every night, the oldest cleans his room while the youngest takes his shower and vice versa. This insures that the rooms don't get out of control after days of neglect.  However, even when we slip up and let things go wild for a few days, the organization systems we have in place help us to quickly restore order!!  My kids' closets are definitely one of my success stories!!!

"My mama would be proud of you..."

Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Proverbs 31: 28-29


     Picture for a moment Aunt Bea from the Andy Griffith Show: motherly, caring, nurturing, always taking care of others, never selfish, but fiesty enough when necessary!  This was my mother-in-law.  She was one of the most amazing women I've ever known, and I miss her terribly even though it's been over ten years since we lost her to cancer.  Sadly, the deep appreciation I have for her wasn't fully realized until many years after her death.  She was 38 when my husband was born, and although she had previously worked outside the home, she then took on the role of stay-at-home mom and full-time housewife, a position she proudly maintained for the remainder of her life. 
     When I first married David, I was in graduate school and just completing my first year of teaching.  I had big career plans and no intentions of ever sitting around the house all day. (Stay-at-home moms, don't throw anything at me yet!  That was simply my perception at the age of 22!!!  I, too, spent several years at home when my kids were little.  I know how much work it is!)  At that point in time, I was the least "domestic" woman on the face of the Earth.  I didn't know how to cook or clean or do anything that an "old-fashioned" housewife should do.  That was partially my fault:  In 8th grade, I petitioned the junior high school administration so that girls wouldn't have to take home ec!  It was also partially my mom's fault:  She did absolutely EVERYTHING for us!  She had good intentions, but I was actually handicapped by the lack of independence.
  Back to my mother-in-law...she loved me dearly.  I have no doubt about that.  But (and let me preface this statement by saying that she NEVER made me feel this way; it was all in my head) I never felt like I would be good enough for David because I wasn't her.  I didn't know how to "take care of him" the way she always had.  Again, let me paint a picture for you:  a spotless house, no piles of dirty laundry, an amazing meal on the table EVERY DAY when my father-in-law walked in the door from work, the list goes on and on.  I saw those tasks - the cooking and cleaning - as CHORES, things to be dreaded.  I didn't know how to do those things, nor did I care to learn.  Now, 15 years later, I know that those things were expressions of her LOVE for her husband and children.  She took pleasure in taking care of her boys!
     Most important to my mother-in-law, however, was not the house or the meals.  Most important was the sense of HOME that she created.  It was a place everyone wanted to visit.  You were always welcome.  There was an overwhelming sense of peace and tranquility the moment you walked in the door.    It was something I had never known.  I had lived in a tumultuous household, often full of chaos and confusion.  My in-laws' home was a sanctuary.  Unlike the housework, however, this sanctuary was something that I wanted, something I worked hard to try to create, sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing, but always trying. 
    It's taken nearly 15 years to reach the point where I am today.  Where I feel like the effort to create a "home" is really materializing.   My kids (even the pre-teen) love being at home and tell me often how they have such a great life!  I've even had a change of heart about the cooking and cleaning over the years.  I came to the realization that my husband also saw some of those little things as MY expression of love for him and our boys.  It was the kind of love he was raised on: selfless, serving, giving LOVE!  As I embraced that fact, I began to take pleasure in preparing meals for my family.  No, I still don't like the dirty laundry or the stinky toilets, but I have a better attitude about doing those things for my family when I remember that I do those things out of LOVE. 
    Last week, I received the ultimate complement from my husband.  "My mama would be proud of you," he said gently.  No words could have meant more.

Look at how far I've come...

     My husband and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary this summer!  I was lying in bed tonight thinking about those early days of marriage, and I felt compelled to get up, grab my laptop, and share a few of those thoughts with you.  When we were first married, we rented a little house full of charm and character.  It was such a "cute" house that I signed the lease on it before David had even seen it.  Bad idea!  We soon learned that this charming old house was full of flaws.  For one thing, it had no central heat.  There were two wall-mounted heaters:  one in the kitchen and one in the bedroom.  These were supposed to heat the entire house, but they certainly didn't! 
     Now you have to understand that I am terribly cold-natured, so waking up to a cold house every morning was torture for me.   However, my sweet husband - still in a state of newlywed bliss - would get up every morning before me, walk across the cold house, and turn on a small space heater in the bathroom.  He would wake me when the bathroom was warm and toasty so that I could get my shower in comfort.  I know that may seem like a small gesture, but it was one done out of love.
    I had so many dreams in those early years of the kind of wife and mother I would be, but for many, many years, I felt like I had fallen short of those high expectations.  There have been many times that I have felt like a complete failure as a woman, and I felt alone, like all other women knew what they were doing and I was the only one who ever struggled.  As women, I think we sometimes alienate each other by putting on a false front, refusing to show any weakness, therefore making other women feel inferior.  I felt that way for years, sometimes spending weeks, even months at a time, in a state of deep depression. 
    Years ago, I made a copy of the Proverbs 31 passage about the noble wife and placed it in my "Mommy Notebook" that I use to keep schedules, menus, grocery shopping lists - all the things that help my house run smoothly.  I have read the passage every morning since my boys were little.  But for a very long time, instead of seeing the verses as an source of encouragement, they often served as a reminder of all that I wasn't!  You see, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't see how I could ever become that kind of woman.  I felt like a failure!
     However, something changed in me last summer, about the time of our 14th anniversary.  God opened my eyes to an entirely different perspective of my role as a wife and mother, and my role as a Godly woman.  I had seen that "noble wife" as an unattainable goal, but God revealed to me that those verses of scripture were meant to serve as a guide for the JOURNEY toward becoming all that He created me to be.   Most importantly, He opened my eyes to the fact that I couldn't do this alone.  Only HE could lead me on this journey.  We can never become that kind of woman on our own.  Only HE can lead us toward that ideal. 
     Amazingly, as I began to accept this truth in my heart, my entire life began to change.  I had lived the previous two years with sometimes unbearable depression; but I began to awaken to the blessings in my life and a joy that only God can provide!  My marriage had suffered; but where old love had died, new love grew!  I had often felt unproductive and ineffectual; but everything I had tried to accomplish over the years suddenly began to "click."  Over the past 8 months, I have felt more capable and confident than I have in years.  I am a better wife, mother, homemaker, and teacher.  And I know, more now than ever before, that God is in control of my life and only He can help me become all that He wants me to be!